Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Breaking My Heart

Every now and then something is said...carelessly, usually in a brief moment of frustration/upset/anger...something that would never be said 'just that way' or even at all that echoes in the mind and heart.

Had a moment with Wolf like that this eve.

Was relating a convo I had with Diva. She'd brought it up all on her own, about fostering/adopting. We talked about the concerns Wolf had (she asked why Daddy didn't want to yet) about time with the more kid means less time to spend with the ones we already have. She said, (bless her loving heart) that she would be ok with that, that this is something important to do, that every kid deserves a home where they're loved, and she wouldn't ever be so selfish as to not want to share us with a child that needs good parents so bad.

I love that kid.

Anyways, Wolf basically reacted like I cornered him with a bat. Spouted off a few ill chosen sentances, and stomped away.

He apologized later, and I told him I didn't care, I give up.

It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that at the moment, my husband is more than content to sit on the sidelines and let someone else worry about these parentless children, these young souls so badly in need of permanency, of love, of home, of healing.

It breaks my heart that we're sitting back and becoming one of the apathetic masses. While my heart most definately is NOT of the attitude, "Hey, not my kid, not my problem." our actions say it anyways. Or rather, our inactions.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem. BE the change you want to see in the world. I believe these things utterly and completely.

And somewhere, tonight, every night, there is a child that prays for a family, whose prayer goes unanswered.

1 comment:

Iva said...

I'd sit down with your man beast and get him to talk. I realize that often, this is about the equivalent of pulling a tooth out of a live shark's mouth...but if you can get him to open up, you'll find out why he's being so apathetic.

Chances are, you'll see that he's seeing things from a guy's POV.

Good luck, sweets.