Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Election Day Canada

Much to the shock of American counterparts, our election day has arrived. They can't believe that we can call and hold an election in about a month. I can't figure out how or why their process takes a year...is it a plot to bore the average American voter into a coma?


We have three major political parties in Canada. (No, I'm not including the Green Party at this point. I said 'major', people. When I saw the leader of the GP on the english debates, I honestly thought that it was a regular person of the street brought in to heckle. I still haven't figured out how the heck she got included. Pouting and whining, apparently)

For those not aware, let me give you a briefing on the candidates.

The Android: current PM of Canada. So arrogant that he didn't even have an economic plan in his election campaign. Honestly, he's so incredibly out of touch that its frightening.

Commments include: "Canadians aren't worried about their jobs." and "Its a good time to invest in the stockmarket"

Crowning achievements: Taxing income trusts, leaving many seniors losing a huge chunk of their income...after promising that they would remain tax free of course. Also, kissing GWB heinie.

Potential upside: If the States elect Obama, it would be interesting to watch the Droid deal...but if they elect McCain, we're all screwed.

Potential Downside: This arrogant piece of furniture for another 4 yrs? We can't afford that as a country.

WhatsHisFaceThatCan'tEvenSpeakEnglish (WHFTCESE): Leader of the Official Opposition

Crowning Achievements: Managing to become a party leader, speaking only ONE of the official languages fluently. Unfortunately, not the one spoken by the majority of the country as a first language. This implies that he has some sort of hypnotic charisma that doesn't translate through the TV, or knows where a lot of bodies are buried. No clue what he's done as leader of the OO. That leads me to believe, not a whole heck of a lot...which is quite dangerous considering its his job to OPPOSE.

Potential Upside: None that I can see.

Potential Downside: Uh, we need a PM that can speak our languages. Especially when it comes to Foreign Relations. This yahoo would end up having us bombed or something with his brilliant command of english.

The 'Stache: Leader of NDP.

Crowning Achievements: Has made the NDP a serious contender in this election. Granted, not as huge an accomplishment considering his opponents, but one to be nodded to anyways. Strongest candidate, with an actual emotional capacity AND command of both languages. I may have my first Politician Crush on that basis alone. (Did I mention how pathetic the opponents are? No offence, Mr. Layton, but I'm not a Politician Crush kinda gal). Also wins 'Best Line Of The English Debate Award' : (to WHFTCESE) "You can't do your job as Leader of the Opposition. I don't know what you're doing running for Prime Minister."

Potential Upside: NDP government, with their spending on social programs is needed to heal after The Android.

Potential Downside: Can't see a majority happening.

Ok, so where's that leave us? I have two potential forecasts.

One: Canadians are lobotomized, and re-elect The Droid, for another minority. The Stache and crew become The Opposition Party. WHFTCESE is in 3rd, wondering what the heck happened.

Two: NDP wins a minority government. Droid takes 2nd. 3rd remains the same. Droid throws a hissy, and calls a non-confidence vote asap, believing in his complete arrogance that Canadians were only joking. A 2nd election leads to an NDP majority, with Canadians giving the Droid the synchronized bird.

I can hope...

1 comment:

Linda said...

What I can't figure out is why our candidates have to spend MILLIONS nearly BILLIONS to get a $300,000 - $400,000 a year job. Same goes for our ppl./loonsin congress, they spend millions for a $100,000 a yr. job. Oh wait, what your comment? LOL