Friday, August 21, 2009

Wolf Had It Out With MIL

Ewww boy.

MIL called yesterday. She was trying to force her way into staying with us for another wknd. Wolf told her that we haven't addressed all the issues she had with our home, so that wouldn't be possible. She told him that she didn't know what he was talking about, so he let her have it with both barrels.

He told her that all she did all wknd was criticize. She even had issues with the children watching Magic School Bus, because it was *gasp* Magic. He informed her that it was an excellent science show that the Littles enjoyed, it was merely a tool being used for their education, and unless she saw dragons and Satan, it wasn't evil.

She protested that, "SHE wouldn't let them watch the dvd *I* sent!" Which set Wolf off again, explaining that a) sending our son a dvd with the 'Demoniac Boy' on it was inappropriate b) the age levels were 6+, and c) the Littles didn't need to be watching anything about demons or possession.

He then went on to inform her that since our children weren't any better behaved, our house wasn't any cleaner, she didn't need to be coming back for a visit. He was completely sick and tired of her constant negativity. She told him that ppl had criticized her when she was parenting him, and that it helped (*snort*). He told her that she hadn't said a single positive thing all wknd, and he was not going to put up with her criticizing his children, his home, his wife, or himself any longer. He even told her that she forces herself on people without so much as asking if they were ok with it, and that her presence wasn't actually a blessing, but something to endure, since she was always so negative, complaining and critical.

I have no idea whats going to happen next. I asked Wolf what he wanted me to do when she called (because no doubt she will call and yell at me) and he said to just ignore her calls. She's going out of town for a reunion this wknd, so he figures by the time she gets there, she'll have totally reorganized everything in her head that its all wonderful. *sigh* MIL has the ability to either not hear or promptly twist, or outright 'forget' anything she doesn't like.

To be honest, I'm blown away that he actually took her to task for her behaviour. Its been happening every summer for the last six years, and he's never lost it like this before on her. I told him that it spoke volumes about our marriage...obviously he's secure enough in our marriage that her never-to-be-had approval didn't matter to him anymore. On one hand, I'm proud of him, on the other, concerned. I don't want him to regret this.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Hitting High/Low Lights

I really can't get into everything right now. Things have simply been insane. This past week, on Thursday, Wolf's Grandpa passed. He was 106. Then, we had MIL this weekend.

We survived. Just.

I'd promised Wolf to try and protect him. Lets just say it didn't work as well as I hoped.

She fired the first shot when we went to pick her up. With both hands, she went to seize my bad arm. I turned away, while firmly grasping her wrist in my good hand, and said, "T! Do NOT touch my bad arm!" all of this in front of witnesses of course. *sigh* She immediately went to her whiny little girl pout and whined, "I forgot!" *deep sigh*

Supper and bed were uneventful, thank heavens for small mercies.

The trouble started this am, while Wolf was at work, and continued while he slept for a cpl of hours. She criticized everything. Kids were watching a TV show, and she kept asking, "Well, what are they learning from this?!" I told her they were learning to laugh

Then she demanded they watch something 'educational' and demanded we watch one of the videos she'd sent. I'd explained to her the night before that the minimum age for them are 6+, Tazzie and Princess are too young. Plus, I hadn't had a chance to watch them myself yet to decide if they would enjoy it, or need to be the proper age. She told me that "Wolf said they could!" I told her I found that unusual, as we had an agreement, and I was going to stick to it.

So, in the interest of educational viewing, I put on The Magic School Bus.

Oh boy.

Apparently, because the bus is 'magic' its bad, and against the Bible...or at least her SDA sensitivities. *sigh*

I went to make lunch, nothing major, just Kraft Dinner. She proceeded to wedge her body btwn me and the wall that the stove is up against, supervising every. freaking. move. I asked her to please leave, as I was nervous about her bumping into my bad arm, only to be told, "Oh, I'll be careful!" She then watched me dish up for the kids, criticizing portion sizes, etc.

Then, after lunch, she decided to tear apart my counter beside the sink. It simply wasn't clean enough for her, and I was informed that Diva was too young to be doing dishes and wiping down the counter.

Finally, it was time to wake Wolf up. I found out later that I misunderstood...he didn't say, "Wake me in 2 hrs" but rather " least 2 hrs." He finds his mother scrubbing our counter top, and blows a gasket, informing her that the whole family had spent yesterday cleaning in prep for her, so if it wasn't good enough, that was just too danged bad.

We took her home shortly after.

In the entire time, she never ONCE offered condolences for Wolf's Grandpa, indeed, never mentioned him at all. When Wolf had talked to her on the phone before the visit, he had to INTERRUPT her to tell her that Grandpa had passed, and her response? " about you picking me up..."

After we got home, Wolf said that he doesn't know if he's going to bother having her even over for dinner again before she leaves. He's just so thoroughly sick and tired of her negativity, self centred, ridiculous behaviour that he just doesn't want to put up with it a moment longer. "Life's too short to spend it with someone you don't like." He also contrasted his relationship with his mother and the relationship with his Grandpa, and said that he couldn't imagine spending three days at her bedside. He figured he'd pop in every now and then, then go play golf while he waited. That bothers me so much, because its just not the cold, heartless man I know and love...but speaks volumes about the pain she's caused him.

I'm not sure that's a great idea, as I'm afraid that he'll regret it, but I told him I'd support whatever decision he made.

I just wish I knew how to help him.