First Official Submission And Adversity

Ok, so its official.

I have now entered into a short story contest. Eeep.

Like most other things in my life, Murphy (or whatever name you wanna call it...The Advesary, Satan, Bad Luck) was a copassenger along the way.

My friend and editor, K went with me for moral support (and to fill out the p0stage label) to the post office at Shoppers. Knowing that we'd be going out to eat, I also printed off another story for editing on a whim.

So, everything's signed, sealed, and handed over.

Sitting at the restaraunt, I start looking over the other story...and realize that the first sentance off every page from page 2-14 is MISSING. I'm talking, gonzo. For whatever reason, putting a header into my copy made the top sentance vanish.

UH OH.

I've now submitted for publication an incomplete manuscript that has glaring omissions.

*insert curse words here*

Also, the post office is closed at this point. Naturally.

I call the drug store where the postal outlet is located, and have a mini meltdown, almost in tears, begging the guy to leave a note for the postal clerk to put this aside, I'll be in first thing in the am. Luckily, I opted for Express Post, so I had a receipt, tracking #, etc.

Spent the night up and down like a psychotic yo-yo, praying that they'd allow me to swap it out with the corrected version. Otherwise, not only am I gonna look like a complete donkey that doesn't have the common sense to proof before mailing, but its gonna cost me another $30, btwn the mailing and the money order for the submission fee.

I called my gf J in a panic. Was this a sign that I shouldn't be attempting this, I asked her, or is this someone (see Murphy comment above) screwing with me, trying to prevent me from taking this step. It was her sleepy (time difference, I woke her up) opinion that Satan was screwing with me, and that it was God's guidance that had me discover the error. (If I hadn't printed off the 2nd manuscript, I never would have known. I'd printed the dang thing off I dunno how many times without a problem).

Sooooo, feeling somewhat more hopeful, I trundle in at opening this am. First thing that greets me, as I walk into the store is music over the speakers. Specifically, Wolf and my wedding song. I pray its an omen (good, don't be sarcastic here :P) and head to the postal outlet.

Not only did I get to swap it out, but she voided the envelope and gave me a new one, filled out the mailing info, etc...for free. WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!

So, at least if I don't succeed at *this* particular contest, I know that I was given help and guidance to at least ensure that it got there properly!

Perverse Nature

Reread that, folks. I said PERVERSE, not PERVERTED.

Thought I'd better clear that one up right from the get go.

Anyways, on to the thought of the moment.

I've been missing from the online world for a bit. Consumed by other duties, mainly focusing on some writing. It waxes and wanes as it always does, but I find myself more confident that it will swing back around.

Problem is, as its always been, my perverse nature.

I *should* be writing right now. And this doesn't count. I'm hip deep in a short I've been working on, roughly halfway through. And I've so far enjoyed writing the story, but I find myself avoiding it. I have a vague idea of how to end it, but not quite sure how to get there from where I am...and a part of me just doesn't want to get there yet. Why, I have no idea. Its not like I don't have a few million other things to do, or that there isn't a deadline looming, because there is. But, here I sit, blogging online.

I think part of it is that I do like the story, and how its gone thus far, and I'm afraid of screwing it up. I'm afraid that the story might actually be...well...good. And its not typical of my writing. Not saying my writing is normally mule puke, but that its not typical of the genre I tend to cling to as being familiar. Unknown territory.

I've already had to change the name of one of the main charecters. Apparently, Oprah has taken to calling girlie bits 'GiGi'. Who knew? Sure as heck not I, but on the idea that there are people out there that watch Oprah, I figured it wise to change the name.

How is it that I avoid doing what I enjoy? Why do I struggle with the idea of potential success? Is it that a part of me is convinced that being published is little more than a child's fantasy? Is it that I don't do well with rejection? Is it that I'm more comfortable with negative in my life than positive?

I believe the answer is yes to all of the above.

And its time to shake that, and get on with it.