Sunday, October 19, 2008

Depressed

Its been a heck of a weekend. Started Friday.

Diva had an art class at the Gallery. It was a challenge for me, managing both the littles downtown, esp attempting to push a stroller. By the time her class was done, I was in a lot of pain, and grateful to be on the bus home.
Princess started to cry, loudly. Bus driver turned around and snapped, "That's enough, I don't put up with that on my bus!" I get her quieted, and all is good, right?
Wrong.
Princess does this...'singing'. That's what she's attempting to do, I don't know how it sounds to someone that doesn't know her...but its a happy sound...and 'ahhhh'...but she is loud for a bus. I'm trying to whisper to her, distract her, every trick I know to get her to use her inside voice. It works for a bit, and then she starts her singing again. The bus driver pulls over, and demands that I "do something about her!" I explained, "She's only two." "I don't care. Pick her up!"
I can feel the heat crawling up my face, and my eyes fill with tears as I'm forced to admit to a bus driver, and passengers, that I'm physically unable to pick up my toddler from her stroller. "I can't, I only have one working arm."
"Only one working arm?! Are you serious?!" he asked, like I was trying to scam him. At this point, I'm ready to burst into tears. I've just had to publicly announce that I'm freaking disabled, and he's treating me like I'm making it up. He then tells me, "Well, pay attention to her or something, but that's enough of that!"
We got off the bus as soon as we could. Princess passed out about 10 mins after he had pulled over. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't crying, she wasn't throwing a tantrum...she was singing, "Ahhhhh...ahhhhhh..."
And I was in freaking tears. Overreacted? Yeah, probably. But felt totally humiliated and useless and physically hurt a lot. I did email a complaint to ETS, so its under investigation.


Then, today...Jack the Cat escaped this am. Hasn't been seen since. And then discovered that WCB wanting me to go out of town for an independant medical assessment means that I'm going to miss trick or treating with my kids, since I won't get home on the bus til 630 or so...and then have to bus it from downtown.

Don't even get me started on my fears regarding travelling alone by Greyhound.

I want some control over my life back.

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