I'm pretty sure 'normal' families don't have conversations like this.
Wolf: Women are malicious. Men will just kill you, but women want to watch you suffer...preferably for years.
Me: Name one thing I've ever deliberately done to cause you pain.
Me: MARRYING you does NOT count!
(Bedtime for Tazzie)
Taz: Uh oh
Taz: I stink
Taz: I farted. I can't sleep, its stinky *starts flapping his blankets*
Me: *just about gagging* Too bad, you made it, you sleep in it.
Five minutes later:
Taz: Woof! Woof! I'm a dog!
Me: ok, night puppy...*puts glass of water on his headboard*
Taz: Woof! Woof! Puppies need a bowl, not a cup! Woof! Woof!
Me: You can use the cup.
Taz: Woof! I don't gots thumbs! Puppies can't hold cups! Need a bowl! Woof!
Me: Then when you get thirsty, you'll have to change back into a boy. G'night!
Taz: *starts crawling out of his room, 'woofing' and wiggling his butt.
Me: Puppies don't have thumbs, so they can't play xbox tomorrow. And little boys that get out of bed can't play either.
Taz: *runs back into his room*
Honestly, this can't be normal. Can it? For the record, Taz has been an issue to get to bed lately. I don't doubt that he saved his gas emissions all day just to try and use gas warfare as a delay bedtime technique. And no thumbs? Ok, so I've told the cat that since he didn't have thumbs he didn't get his choice of seats in the livingroom, but oy!
Countdown to my 41st Birthday
11 months ago