Monday, September 15, 2008

Wanting To Follow...

Ever feel drawn, compelled to do something, even though there's really no rational basis, or even a hope of it being possible or plausible?

Yeah, that's me right now.

For a long time now, I've felt the pull to foster/adopt. Problem is, Wolf does not. He feels we have our hands full with the kids we already have. Financial pressures, a lack of space...its really not doable. He's right. I know he is. But that doesn't quiet this feeling in my heart. Add in the fact that here, if you adopt a 'special needs child' (which can mean a child over 7, or a sibling group), you can receive what they call 'Supports for permenancy'...which is funding equal to full foster parent rates after adoption. So, you'd actually receive financial assistance to support the child(ren) after adopting. Which would nicely cancel out the financial concerns.

Course, we're still short a room.


I'm trying so hard to walk the path that I feel I'm being called to. One of my most valued friends is fond of telling me, "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called." I'm also more than a little concerned that my diagnosis of CRPS might make me 'unfit' for adoption.

Last night, ran across a situation where a mother had her 6 yo confide that her grandfather had touched her inappropriately. 'Mom' (I use the term loosely) decided to wait until morning to have the child seen, despite people begging her to go NOW. I was intensely angry about it (still am) and got talking to Wolf. I told him this was a perfect example of WHY I feel called to this. We could make such a difference in a child's life. We could be a blessing to a child. I told him we're good parents, despite all our flaws, and what a difference that could make to a child who so badly needs a safe and loving place to be. He agreed that we would be and do that for a child...but still isn't ready/willing to say yes.

Pray that we find the way to do what we're supposed to.

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