Aimless

I feel like a dandelion seed, tumbling wherever the wind sends me, without any hope of guidance or control over my path or destination.

Everything in my life hinges on decisions made for me, about me, by others who don't have the first foggiest clue as to who I am as a person, but just a case file. I feel like my humanity, my life is being reduced to pieces of paper, statistics, and what someone else thinks should be happening, working, whatever.

It looks like PT is rapidly coming to an end. No improvements = waste of time and resources. My fear is, how much WORSE is it going to get without PT? Is PT stopping it from getting completely out of control? Or is it simply a placebo? According to the research my PT gave me last night, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason for recovery...or non recovery. No time line. Either you recover, or you don't. Yay. I seem to be fitting in the 'don't' category.

So, I have an appt for a pain clinic on the 8th. Consultation. See what if anything they suggest, because my migraines are increasing in frequency and intensity...and that's got to be somehow related to this CRPS. Lack of sleep, stress of chronic pain, whatever.

Its all completely frustrating.