Sunday, June 29, 2008

But He LOVES You

Seems like everywhere I turn lately, divorce and splitting up is running rampant. I guess spring isn't just a wedding season, but a divorce season too.

Cheating is still probably one of the biggest reasons for splitting up that I hear of. And it never ceases to just flat out astound me the double standard that is still alive and well when it comes to sex, marriage and infidelity.

If a woman cheats, she's a whore, a slut. She's scum, a vile betrayer of the sanctity of her marriage.

If a man cheats..."It was just sex, I LOVE you!" Seriously, I heard that one personally, I've had friends hear it, and recently, one woman I know had her MOTHER tell her, "it was just sex, he loves you!" How in the name of hell does that one work? There seems to be the mindset that a man is a slave to his dick, compeltely incapable of controlling those manly urges, and its up to the women to forgive the poor helpless male his failings. Its just lust, dear.

Bullshit, says I. Bullshit. Can you imagine if a wife were to say the same thing? "He was just really well hung dear. But I LOVE you!" Yeah. Why don't I see that one going over at all? So why would a guy think that it should be a path to forgiveness? Why do so many men vow that they would kill (or beat the living snot out of) any man they found with their wife...yet figure that sorry and some flowers or maybe a diamond should result in automatic forgiveness? Why is it that still, in 2008, a man screwing around isn't viewed as negatively as a woman doing the same?

And while I'm at it..."It didn't mean anything, I was drunk, it wasn't my fault" is another bullshit line. Being drunk doesn't get you off the hook if you run someone over, beat someone why would it be a reasonable excuse in screwing around? I mean, seriously...has that EVER worked? Has any spouse ever looked at the cheater and said, "Oh, Dear...since you were drunk, its totally ok. Alls forgiven!" Hell no. If anything, it makes it worse, because of the lame attempt to escape any and all responsibility for their actions.

Responsibility is another thing. I've always personally wanted to turn a flame thrower on those that actually attempt to blame their spouse for their wandering gonads. "Well...if you hadn't gained weight...had kept the house clean...wore something other than sweat pants...wore makeup...I wouldn't have HAD to cheat." Again, utter bullshit. Unless you feed your husband Viagra, tie him to the bed, and impale another woman on his willy, the responsibility for cheating lies completely, utterly and totally on the cheater. If you're unhappy with your marriage, you have choices. Either work to fix it, or get out. Cheating is never the answer or the solution. Its a complete betrayal of trust, valuing your naughty bits over your family and marriage.

1 comment:

Tammy said...

I completely agree with you. My ex was a cheater and I found out for sure after the divorce. There is absolutely no excuse. He never did admit to it, but I know in my heart. I mean-hello-he had moved in with another woman within a few weeks of moving out after 19 1/2 years of marriage.