Countdown

Well, the parental visit has come and gone.  It went amazingly well.

Currently, we're preparing for the upcoming changes Chez Stepford. 

First, getting the hs area torn apart and reorganized for school to start next week.

Second is getting ready for the new baby, due mid Nov.  I have the feeling, though, that it will be a planned delivery.  With RSD and the other medical issues that have come up, I suspect that they're not going to want me to labour unsupervised.

So, I figure we've got 8-9 wks left to get ready.

I'm tired already!  Decluttering, cleaning, organizing is done in fits and starts, and leaves me in a foul mood.  I hate being hampered and not being able to simply do what needs done.  The progress around here is like being nibbled to death by ducks...and I get to put up with snarky comments from my husband, such as, "I thought you were going to do x,y,z today..."  Yeah, well...I can't always finish what I start, not in the same day.  Gets done eventually, but sometimes the partway point looks worse than the original situation.

Any wonder I'm in a foul mood?

Insomnia, Day 2

Monday night, I slept not at all.  I made it through until after supper, then loaded up on my meds and headed off to bed around 6 pm.

By 830, I was still awake.  Took some melatonin.

930, still awake.

I was still awake when Wolf got up to get ready for work.  I managed to fall asleep after that, so got a grand total of 90 minutes of sleep.

Its so frustrating.  I feel like crying.  I take all the meds I'm supposed to to get to sleep.  Sometimes they work, other times, nada.  I need to get some regular sleep.

Its a vicious cycle.  I can't sleep, so my pain levels go up.  Because my pain levels are up, I can't sleep.  Wash, rinse, repeat.

It takes everything I am to keep on my feet, keep moving.  Sitting on the couch, trying to read a book, the type begins to blur, and I start to nod off.  My kids need me, so that's not acceptable at all.  We have school to do, Diva needs math tests marked, I have history to read aloud to all of them...In short, far too much to do for Mommy to pass out on the couch.

I realize it opens the door for ppl to start banging on the 'Send Them To School' drum, but that's not an option.  RSD has stolen so much from me that I won't allow it to negatively impact my children's education.

Wolf continues to be amazed/frustrated/worried about my not sleeping.  He can't understand how I can "take enough meds to drop a horse" yet still not sleep.  Its ridiculous to the nth degree.

My GP just raised the dose of one med a few wks ago, told me he wanted me to try it for a month before we make any changes.  I see him on Friday, and I'm going to be telling him that I can't afford to wait a month.  This need to be changed now.  Its hit or miss with the meds.  The first week or so I took them, they worked beautifully.  Fast forward to now, and they're as effective as a Tic Tac.

Quiet time is just 5 hrs away.  I can make it til then.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can.

I know I must.  Housework can go fly a kite today, but homeschooling...that's not optional for me.  It must happen.

I have an hour to gather my wits, to call on what paitence I may have in reserve, and be ready to educate my kids.

I will do this.

Although, I do admit, I can't remember the last time that I was running on 90 minutes sleep in 2 days.  Not saying it hasn't happened, just that I can't remember it...Which is likely just as well.

Major HUGE Diva Brag...

If you *don't* go to Homeschooling, The Non Stepford Style, you might want to make an exception this once...major, MAJOR Diva braggin goin on...Nope, I'm not gonna spill the beans here, you've got to check out the other blog. That's all I'm sayin.

Major Brag.

Major Diva brag.

Major, MAJOR, Diva brag.

Get over there already!

A Homeschooling We Will Blog

Dear heavens, I'm going to end up with more blogs than I can shake a stick at. See, I've got different email addys...and all I was TRYING to do was to add another email addy to THIS blog, so that I didn't have to sign in, sign out...I was starting to get MPD just because of email addys. Not a healthy thing, when I've already got some naturally occurring mental instability...my friends and loved ones call it 'the artistic temperment'. Basically, I can live in my head with plotlines and subplots and characters quite happily, while blithely stepping around a pile of 2 wks worth of laundry and so forth.

Anyways, it means that I've fractured myself into yet another blog. Homeschooling, the Non Stepford Style.

Now...question will become if I blog there exclusively for homeschooling stuff, copy and paste stuff from here about homeschooling...or bounce around like a psychotic super ball, posting on every blog.

Who knows.

When I figure it out, I'll let you guys know, then you can follow whatever blog suits your fancy.

Or...I'll end up in a padded room, from Blogger Induced MPD.

Just call me Sybil.

Gettin Schooled

Tazzie kills me.

We were working on letter recognition today, with wood pieces and letter cards (like a puzzle, the letter cards show you the shape, and you use the wood pieces to make the letter).

Taz was starting to get bored, so I picked up a letter card and pretended to not know how to do it...so he announced he would show me. He did, turned to me and asked, "Do you get it now?" *snicker*

We finished off the alphabet, and he announces to me, "Imma good teature! I fink you learned enough now. I teach you more later, k?"

I guess Momma got schooled!

Depressed

Its been a heck of a weekend. Started Friday.

Diva had an art class at the Gallery. It was a challenge for me, managing both the littles downtown, esp attempting to push a stroller. By the time her class was done, I was in a lot of pain, and grateful to be on the bus home.
Princess started to cry, loudly. Bus driver turned around and snapped, "That's enough, I don't put up with that on my bus!" I get her quieted, and all is good, right?
Wrong.
Princess does this...'singing'. That's what she's attempting to do, I don't know how it sounds to someone that doesn't know her...but its a happy sound...and 'ahhhh'...but she is loud for a bus. I'm trying to whisper to her, distract her, every trick I know to get her to use her inside voice. It works for a bit, and then she starts her singing again. The bus driver pulls over, and demands that I "do something about her!" I explained, "She's only two." "I don't care. Pick her up!"
I can feel the heat crawling up my face, and my eyes fill with tears as I'm forced to admit to a bus driver, and passengers, that I'm physically unable to pick up my toddler from her stroller. "I can't, I only have one working arm."
"Only one working arm?! Are you serious?!" he asked, like I was trying to scam him. At this point, I'm ready to burst into tears. I've just had to publicly announce that I'm freaking disabled, and he's treating me like I'm making it up. He then tells me, "Well, pay attention to her or something, but that's enough of that!"
We got off the bus as soon as we could. Princess passed out about 10 mins after he had pulled over. She wasn't screaming, she wasn't crying, she wasn't throwing a tantrum...she was singing, "Ahhhhh...ahhhhhh..."
And I was in freaking tears. Overreacted? Yeah, probably. But felt totally humiliated and useless and physically hurt a lot. I did email a complaint to ETS, so its under investigation.

Then, today...Jack the Cat escaped this am. Hasn't been seen since. And then discovered that WCB wanting me to go out of town for an independant medical assessment means that I'm going to miss trick or treating with my kids, since I won't get home on the bus til 630 or so...and then have to bus it from downtown.

Don't even get me started on my fears regarding travelling alone by Greyhound.

I want some control over my life back.