I go for the big medical panel meeting this am. Three specialists and the head of the medical panel will be hearing the information, probably examining me (icky, eww, pain) and then writing a report stating if I am capable of working at all.
All my drs say no, I'm unable. Worker's Comp doesn't like that answer, hence the MPO.
Last I heard, they hadn't yet received the info from the 3 hr torture...err...testing session.
If folks could pray for us, that this goes in our favour, that they agree with *my* specialists (there's 3 of them, plus 3 other independant exams that have said yes, I have RSD) I would be very grateful.
I don't know what shape I'll be in later, depending on what exams might be done, so I may not update until tomorrow.
Thanks.
Ok, first the good news. Baby nephew was released from the hospital yesterday. Talk about a happy Easter for my brother and his wife!!
And now, the rest of life...
Wolf thought he pulled a muscle in his side at work. Turned out to be shingles.
Medical Panel is demanding to physically examine me on Friday. Which, translated to someone with RSD means, "We're going to hurt you. Repeatedly. Because, even though you've been examined at LEAST a half dozen times before, and everyone agrees its RSD, we want to have a poke at you ourselves...RSD just isn't common, you know."
Easter was ok, kids loved everything.
And that's the post and run update for now.
There's so much going on right now, I'm not sure which end is up.
My nephew, a few wks old, has some serious health issues. He was born with both a sealed valve, and a hole in his heart. They've put a temp shunt in, and intend for him to have surgery btwn 4-6 mths of age to fix the hole and put in a perm shunt.
He's been admitted to the hospital...he was having blood in his diapers. My bro and his wife were told by 2 different ERs that it was a milk allergy. A check up a day later at the children's hospital showed it was a bowel infection. He's in for at least 2 wks, to a month. Last I heard the antibiotics are working, but they can't feed him b/c he needs to heal, so he's on an IV only.
Then I've got the medical panel next Friday. Decisions will be made as to the future of my workers comp claim...but I have no clue as to what I'm walking into. I know that the bone scan showed no abnormalities...basically, I've kept up my physio at home and have so far staved off bone loss, which is great for my health, but bad for the medical panel whose looking for objective evidence of RSD. *sigh* I don't have a clue, and won't know until the day, the results of the other testing. I'm terrified.
If it were just me effected, I could deal...but this impacts my family too.
I feel guilty for worrying, b/c my nephew's health is so much more frightening and dire, but can't shake it either. Does that make me self absorbed?
Honestly. Things have just gotten out of control around here.
Ever since my testing over a week ago, I've been barely treading water. The testing was over 3 hrs long, incredibly painful, tortuous...and at no time was I allowed to say, "Enough", or "Stop" because that would mean I was non-compliant, and worker's comp would have had a field day.
I still can't be in my own bed without nightmares or flashes of being strapped down to that table while someone hurt me, over and over again.
Yet, life does go on. I need to do laundry, vacuum, steam clean, the bathroom is a disaster...the list goes on. And on. Everything that I haven't done while I've been licking my wounds has just stacked up. And up.
Its just so overwhelming this am. I know that the place to start is anywhere, just get going. Logically, I know this. So why is it, emotionally, I'm curled up in a ball hiding under my desk?
I think its the whole feeling of being completely helpless, unable to even protect myself, being a bug pinned down to someone's tray while they poked and prodded and reduced me to an injured animal that has left me feeling completely incompetent in every aspect of my life.
PTSD has occurred to me. I see my psychologist Friday.
I find it ironic. Assaulted by a resident. RSD sets in, robbing me of my dominant hand and arm. Constant pain. Losing my life as a whole, healthy woman, wife and mother.
But its the testing that has me completely falling apart. A 3 hr test from H*ll, no debate...but you'd think I could shake it off if all the rest of the crud didn't break me. I guess I've hit my limit.
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